


Storms and Angels

by aiisa



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Canon Compliant, Ghosts, M/M, Two Shot, better rewrite the source of my pain and post it, i’m feeling angsty, largely canon compliant, lawlight, love doesn’t save them this time, oh god this hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28422939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiisa/pseuds/aiisa
Summary: Light hadn’t expected to see L out there.To be honest, he’d really just gone up to the rooftop in order to find a place to laugh about his oncoming victory.That’s all it had been.But there he was.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	1. Storms

**Author's Note:**

> I am of the firm believer in the idea that words can change everything. Even if there’s the slightest difference in the way someone says something, it can completely shift reality.  
> With that in mind, this story follows canon very closely, and while the majority of the events occur every similarly to the original story, a few things have been tweaked. Some are so small that only a word or two is different. Some are bigger. But I’m hoping that it’ll shift the perspective enough?

Light hadn’t expected to see L out there.

To be honest, he’d really just gone up to the rooftop in order to find a place to laugh about his oncoming victory.

That’s all it had been.

But there he was.

He was out by the satellite dish, looking as if he’d been there his whole life— as if there was nowhere else he could ever be. His big, black eyes staring out at nothing as rain made its way through his hair and clothes, dripping down, down, down to pool at his feet.

Say what you will about L, but in that moment, Light had never seen something so ethereal— as an aspiring god, he saw the irony in such a thought, and grimaced. Ryuuzaki was just another human. Just like the others. Just like everyone else.

Except that he wasn’t. He was witty and he was perceptive and he could be a total bastard. He was beautiful too— the biggest tragedy of it all. He could be sopping wet, have eye-bags that had built up since the day he was born, and he’d still be someone you just couldn’t look away from.

He wasn’t gorgeous, or hot. Cute, maybe, if someone hadn’t heard him talk yet. But L’s appeal lied on an otherworldly plane. He wasn’t conventionally attractive. No, he was a force of nature— some powerful storm rolling in on the horizon of Light’s life. A Greek God, maybe. One with overwhelming ability, but many, many flaws. He could be Light’s own Athena— trading sharp grey eyes for the consuming pits of black. In all honesty, that’d work out better— those dark eyes. They stared into you, drawing in all your secrets the same way a black hole eats away at the universe.

He _should’ve_ seemed pathetic, really. Like a wet dog, with nowhere to go. In fact, to everyone else, that’s probably exactly what they saw.

Light knew better— he’d always picked up on things others would otherwise miss. Instead, he saw L as he really was— the rain pouring all around him, looking like a god of wisdom, or an angel of death. 

L was an angel of death, just as he was. They were, after all, two sides to the same coin.

The only problem seemed to be that he didn’t know it. Or, like an idiot, he chose to ignore it in his mixed up form of justice. He probably thought stopping Kira’s movement was righteous of him.

_Pffft, of course he would._

It’s the way L was— the way they both were. Set in their ways and their views until the day they died.

“What are you doing standing out there by yourself?”

At last, L turned to him. He didn’t seem surprised at the company. Had he known Light was there the whole time, sensing him like an angel? Or, like a god, was he just unfazed by everyone he came across? Slowly, L rose his hand to cup his ear, leaning ever so slightly in Light’s direction. God, he was beautiful. Even if he _was_ probably deaf.

“What are you doing standing out there by yourself?” Light repeated, raising his voice so that it would carry.

L stared. He tilted more, cupping his ear again. He had a slight grin on his face.

Well, now the bastard was just messing with him. He wanted him to get all wet too, didn’t he?

_Whatever_. Light sighed and stepped out from under the ledge, the heavy rainfall instantly making his hair wet. _Ugh_.

He made his way across the roof.

“What are you doing, Ryuuzaki?”

“Oh, nothing in particular. . .” L was looking out again. Out towards the mist and the city lights. Light felt vaguely annoyed that L wasn’t looking at him instead. “It's just— I hear the bell.”

“The bell?” Light was a sucker for religious symbolism— he was the God of the New World, for God’s sake (and his, for that matter). But now, he hadn’t the faintest idea of what Ryuuzaki was talking about. Perhaps that was the difference between them. _Or one of many_ , he supposed. 

L didn’t have to try to be godlike. It was almost like he knew it, but didn’t want to be. He just was. Light made it seem effortless, sure, and it very nearly was. Still, godhood was something he strived for. In the end, it wouldn’t matter. 

All Light knew was that if things had been different, they could’ve been gods together, wreaking havoc upon the unworthy. He’d dreamed about it ever since his memory had been returned. At first, that had ashamed him, but now, it was always a constant _what-if_ in his head.

“Yes. The sound of the bell's been unusually loud today.” He was gazing out at something, so Light looked where he was looking. Nothing.

“Hmm. I don’t hear anything.” He almost wanted to pretend he did, though. So he could see and hear whatever L was hearing. He felt like he was missing something. Something he needed to hear in order to really understand everything.

Ryuuzaki began to mutter. “Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing non-stop all day. I find it…very distracting. I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder if it's a church—maybe a wedding, or perhaps a—“

_Hmm. So he doesn’t know what it is either._ “What are you getting at, Ryuzaki? Come on, cut it out— let's get back inside.”

L sighed, and in that moment, he seemed so far away. “You really don’t hear them?”

“You’re talking crazy, Ryuuzaki.”

“I don’t think I am, Light-kun.” He didn’t sound petulant, like anyone else would’ve. No, L sounded wise. “Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, has there ever been a point when you've actually told the truth?”

“What are you saying?” Sure, he sounded a bit rushed, but it didn’t matter. Anybody would jump to their defense after hearing something like that. “Certainly I lie every once in a while, but surely no one can be truthful throughout their entire life? People aren't that perfect. Everyone lies. But, even so, I've made a conscious effort to not tell lies that will hurt others.” He paused, unsure of what else to say. Then: “That's my answer.”

“I had a feeling you’d say something like that.” L looked down, watching the rain splash on the concrete, “Not a single slip.”

For a while, the only thing either of them could hear was the rain and their own hearts hammering.

Hesitantly, L spoke up. “Let's go back inside. We're both soaked.”

“...Yeah, okay.”

* * *

L was drying Light’s feet when he said it.

“It'll be lonely, won't it?”

.

.

.

Huh?

Light voiced his confusion.

When he looked down, there L was, looking every bit of the martyr he would soon be. That word returned to Light’s mind. _Beautiful_.

“You and I will be parting ways soon.” His smile was gentle, and his face was soft. His eyes almost seemed welcoming. _Forgiving_.

It hurt more than it should’ve.

Those eyes told him things he wished they didn’t. Because dear god, L _knew_. _He knew everything_.

The moment was ruptured by Ryuuzaki’s cell, but Light didn’t stop staring, even as he turned away to answer. How could he? L knew about the storm fast approaching. 

It should have made sense. After all, a storm would recognize another storm. That was one of the many things L was. An angel.... a storm... a god.... a—

“Yes?” L paused, listening to the other line. “Understood. I'll be there straight away.”

“Come on, Light-kun.” _God... look at me L. Please._ “Let’s go.… It seems like it’s all worked out.”

Maybe it was shock, but Light couldn’t answer, even as L began to walk away. Instead, he stared for a while, before mutely standing up and trailing after him.

* * *

It was a while before they spoke. Light didn’t know what to say. _Sorry Rem’s gonna put you six feet under?_ It didn’t matter how much he would hate it, Light knew it had to be done. The crusade couldn’t stop because he cared about his biggest obstacle. Because he cared about the one person he was supposed to hate more than anything.

He had to ask. “Ryuuzaki?”

L didn’t respond until Light had just about opened his mouth to repeat himself. “Yes, Light-kun?”

“Ryuuzaki.... I know you don’t agree with his methods, but surely you agree with Kira’s ideals?”

“Of course I do, Light-kun.”

Light turned to him in shock. _That’s and answer he’s never given before. If he agrees with me, maybe —_

“Then what—“

“It doesn’t matter if I agree with his ideals, Light-kun.” L said softly, his pace unfaltering, “Nobody should have that power. They’ll inevitably lose themselves to the rush of it all, ideals or no. Besides, the flaw in Kira’s mission is that he goes about it all in a very black and white way, when he himself is in the grey.He often seems to forget the concept of different perspectives and the overall rights of humanity.” He didn’t sound like he was preaching to Light, rather than just informing, but Light got offended anyway.

He decided to jab at the detective. “This coming from someone who locked me and my girlfriend in solitary confinement for fifty days on a hunch. You have no concept of humanity’s rights either, Ryuuzaki.” _I’m no more of a villain than you are._

“I never claimed to be a god. I am quite comfortable as I am. But I don’t think Light-kun realizes just how sure I was of your identity.” L replied, not missing a beat.

“Oh? And how sure was that, Ryuuzaki?”

“Completely, Light-kun. Do you know why?”

“...Why, Ryuuzaki?” He tried to play it as if he thought the man crazy. As much as he hated it, Light would have to keep up this act until the very end.

“Your eyes, Light-kun. They are a tell, but I seem to be the only one who’s noticed. They have the cruelest gaze I’ve ever seen.

“I have been told my eyes draw people in, scare them, even— they just can’t seem to look away, because they suck people in. That’s me learning all about them with a look. But you, Light-kun, you... you aren’t quite learning, but picking people apart, analyzing in the most clinical and heartless fashion. It doesn’t match the rest of you at all. 

“The worst part is, everyone is blissfully unaware, charmed by your accomplishments and glowing demeanor. I hide behind my name— if I chose to walk the streets, I walk alone, the only one that knows of my capability. I’m content with living in the shadows, so long as my work itself receives recognition. I know my worth. You absolutely bask in the attention— you let your achievements out into the open to draw people in. You want to be adored by everyone. I simply cannot begin to understand it. Nothing seems to be enough for you. These are but a small part of why I knew you were Kira then, mounds of evidence aside. In fact, I still believe you to be Kira now— but alas, evidence doesn’t always mean the same thing as proof. There is no way out for me.”

Light was silent for a moment. _Heh. Not as godlike as I thought. Acting like appreciating people’s worship is something to be ashamed of... or as if everyone doesn’t enjoy a little attention. You, L, are the strange one...._ “Heh heh, c’mon Ryuuzaki, you know I’m not Kira. We’ve covered this!” he rubbed the back of his head, going for sheepish.

“Oh come on now, Kira-kun——“ _Okay, wow, petty—_ “We’re not being recorded here, and even as we speak I’m walking toward my grave. Can’t we converse like civilized individuals? Can’t we be honest for once? Our time is running out.”

L wasn’t even playing vague anymore. He knew exactly what he was getting into. How didn’t it scare him? How could he keep walking forward, knowing what it meant?

“That’s not exactly in our track record, Ryuuzaki. Besides, can you really call your accusations a prime example of civility?” Light purposely avoided the request for honesty. What did it matter to him, anyway?

“I suppose not,” L said quietly, “Still, it couldn’t hurt to try.”

Light’s face hardened. “Not for you, it couldn’t.”

“I’ll speak alone then.”

“Be my guest, Ryuuzaki,” Light said, resigning to the fact that L would talk whether he said it was ok or not.

“Is it alright if I speak about myself? I’m afraid I haven’t told you much about me. I think I would like to do it now.”

_Yeah, and who’s fault is that?_ Light nodded.

“Alright then. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to refrain from using names or information that will incriminate others... wouldn’t want Kira to go after them, now would we?” L chuckled dryly, though Light failed to see what was funny. Another thing he would never begin to understand.

“Well, let’s see... my parents died when I was very young. House fire. I didn’t cry once— even as I watched my house collapse, knowing they were in there. My mum and dad.... they weren’t good people. I do credit them for my abilities in self defense— I learned how to defend myself very early on, though I won’t exactly give them my thanks for it. It helped when I was forced into the streets.

I was completely alone for a very long time, and in those years, I learned a lot about the world. Not all the facts and figures that people use to measure intelligence. I learned truths. It’s these truths that made me choose what side to take regarding Kira, actually.

Anyway— eventually, I was taken in. I’m sure you can figure out the person who did it. I was eight by then— that’s three years later. Not long after, they realized I wasn’t a complete idiot. I made my debut as L before I turned ten.”

“Ryuu—“

Ignoring him, L plowed on, as if stopping would rob him of whatever resolve he had in the moment. “From then on, I wasn’t a person anymore. It’s not like I hated it— I got free room and board in every damn country in the world. All the sweets I wanted. Watari was always by my side. The best detective in the world— that meant I got the best of everything. But it’s been almost 16 years, Light-kun. I’m tired. Hardly anyone I’ve known has remained alive. After tonight, I don’t think there will be a single one.”

“Ryuuzaki, stop it—“

“Can you promise me something? If not as a friend, then at least as an equal?” L stopped his gait abruptly. When Light turned, he saw that L’s eyes left no room for argument. No room for denial.

“... Fine then.”

“When I die, please don’t forget me.”

“I—“

“Light-kun, you should now know better than anyone else the true meaning of the legacy I’m leaving behind. It’s completely empty, because at the end of the day, it’s a single fucking letter on a screen. A screen that anybody could be behind, and the world wouldn’t know the difference. There aren’t any pictures of me for people at my old orphanage to look at. Not a single one. So don’t forget what my eyes look like. Don’t forget the sound of my voice, or the curve of my jaw. Remember the moments you liked me best, if you can. Please, Light-kun.”

“....I will.”

“Thank you.” L’s eyes were watery, but neither of them could bring themselves to acknowledge it. “Let’s keep walking now, Watari is probably wondering what’s taking so long.”

“Right.” 

Neither one of them could look at each other anymore.

* * *

Red.

Red everywhere.

He knew it was only a matter of time, but Light had still thought he’d have a bit more.

“Everyone, the Shini—“

L didn’t get to finish his sentence before going into cardiac arrest, and falling from his perch in his chair.

The fall seemed to last an eternity.

Light flew into a panic, rushing to break his fall. He clung to the dying man as tight as he could.

There were shouts around them, but neither one of them could hear. 

“Light-kuh.... Light— kun...”

_Fuck. No. I can’t stand this... this is hard L. Don’t make it harder—_

He looked down.

“Remember what you promised me.”

They looked at each other, and Light almost thought Rem had written his name down too— his heart felt as though it had been stabbed. He almost thought that would’ve been better. _Oh god, please no, don’t die. I’m sorry I don’t want you to go I take it back I—_

“I know, Ryuuzaki.”

Oh, there they were.

He heard the bells now.

They were ringing louder and louder.

L’s hands crept behind his ears, and a split second later, Light was tugged down. His lips met the corner of L’s mouth, and L weakly tilted his head to center them. L closed his eyes and pressed on. Any other day, any other lifetime, his heart would’ve quickened as he had his first and final kiss.

But they were here, and L’s heart was slowing down.

Light knew L didn’t have the strength to do this, that this was a waste of whatever energy he had left. Still, he cradled L’s head with his hands, kissing back even as the lips against his grew weaker and weaker...

“I love you, Light.”

“ _L..._ ”

By the time Light pulled back to look at him, L was dead. The final bell sounded.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry.
> 
> Really.  
> I can’t ever read fics where my favorite characters dies, and yet here I am, writing a fic where my favorite character dies.
> 
> Well, there’s one more part coming, sort of an afterwards type thing. Please stick around to read the rest!  
> Thank you!


	2. Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww yeah, angsty light

Light saw L everywhere. Sitting on his bed when he got home, riding the metro, sitting at his old desk. In the swivel chair.

He hadn’t been able to bring himself to get rid of the chair. L’s chair. The rest of the task force had been uncomfortable with the idea of keeping it, after what had happened. Light had insisted. 

Now there he was, sitting in that crouch he always sat in, biting his thumb the way he always did.

He was speaking to Light, but he was completely mute. Light had never been good at reading lips, but he could figure out what L was saying then without a problem:

_ Don’t forget what you promised. _

Light knew he had to continue both his work and L’s. Kira couldn’t ever stop now.  L’s death would have been pointless.

All those lies, for nothing. Light couldn’t stand the thought. If not for him, L would’ve lived. If he gave up, turned himself in—

No. He could never do it now.

He had to keep going. Someone had to remember L.

Even if the only one who did was the very person who let him die.

* * *

The task force found out who Watari was eventually, once they’d settled down. It had been about ten days since L’s funeral.

Quillish Wammy — a man who founded orphanages all over the world. Funny enough, it was Matsuda of all people who found the man’s records.

Light hadn’t needed the information, he’d figured out Watari’s role in L’s life when L had decided to bear himself to him, on that rainy day. He knew Watari had raised the detective, albeit a bit late in his childhood.

Nobody could figure out who L was though.

Well, none of them had looked through the Death Note either. Light found his name just fine.

_ L Lawliet. _

He hadn’t been kidding when he said his parents were bad people. L... that’s all they’d given him.  _ “A single fucking letter on a screen.” _

That night, he took out a notebook— a normal notebook in every regard— and began to write everything L had told him. From his childhood to his involvement with the Kira case. He wrote about his favorite desserts and his weird quirks. He wrote about how he’d looked that final day, out on the roof. He wrote about how L was rude and invasive, how L was clever and wise. He kept writing for hours— funny, he hadn’t even known the man’s name the whole time L was alive, and yet he still managed to write 15 pages before falling asleep on his couch at 4:14 the next morning. When he woke up again at 8, he continued right where he left off.

If Light couldn’t live long enough to tell others, then maybe they’d find L’s story anyway. Even in the worst case scenario, L would live on as something bigger than his role as a detective.

Light set up his first will two weeks later. He knew he was rather young to be doing this sort of thing, but he thought of it as an insurance. Obviously, the Death Note was omitted for safety measures, but he thought he did okay all in all.

He left the majority of his money to Sayu and Misa. Some of it went to his old friends, but not all too much.

His apartment would go to Misa too. Even if he didn’t love her the way she loved him, he figured she’d be a bit lost without him.

But most importantly:

He addressed a copy of his notebook and its writings to each of the orphanages founded by Quillish Wammy.

* * *

“Hey, now that’s L’s dead, does that mean you’ve finally settled the score with him?” 

Light was out on their rooftop. By the satellite dish, where everything had come together, only to fall apart. 

He was with Ryuk, unfortunately. Now that his Death Note was back in his possession, the Shinigami was back to following Light wherever he went. Tonight, the rain was gone and the lights of the city were bright. To most people, it would’ve been pretty. Light personally thought they were blaring. He knew it was survivor’s guilt talking, but that didn’t make the view any less irritating.

“Yeah.” 

Ryuk hadn’t been there for those final days. He wouldn’t get it even if Light explained it to him. Besides, the Shinigami was pretty much emotionally stunted. He didn’t want to correct the guy if it wouldn’t go anywhere.

“So in that case, I guess things are gonna be pretty boring from now on...” _Yeah, they definitely are. Everything I do now is by obligation. I probably shouldn’t tell you that, though._

“What are you talking about Ryuk? From this moment on, I’ll show you the creation of a new world.” Light looked down, flexing his fingers. Where normally he would think of a new era, all he could think about was the past. Still, it was his duty to the world to continue.

Light lifted his pen to the sky, then began to write.

* * *

“Say, if you don’t mind me asking, what was the first L like? I’m his successor, sure, but I never really met him. But, as any convincing imposter must, you would’ve done research. And I’m quite curious. . .” Near’s garbled voice came into the monitors, and the question caught Light completely by surprise.

He looked to his left, where L was sitting by the coffee table, stacking brown sugar cubes without drawing those black eyes from Light’s.  _What will you say, Light-kun?_

For all his preparation, he didn’t know.

Light had been waiting for a moment like this. He could fulfill the only request L had given him— his wish from the day he died. He could step down as god for a moment and repent for his sins against another one.  _But where to even start... I have pages and pages— ah. The task force is here too. Shit. Guess now isn’t the time to wax poetry._

“I couldn’t quite sum him up in a breath, N. He was a person. A complex one.”

The angel in the chair rose a brow at that.

_That’s it? Really? Give him more than that, Light-kun. You’re smart enough to figure something out._

“ He..... he was very clever. Cool under pressure, an honorable man.”

_Okay, that’s just half-assed, Light-kun. Besides, we both know I was anything but honorable._ Not-L’s shoulders were shaking in silent laughter.

While Light usually hung on to every word his ghost L mouthed, he pointedly ignored that bit.

“He could be a pain in my ass sometimes, and he was an absolute glutton, but he wasn’t so bad. I miss him all the time.”

“Huh. Very interesting.” Near didn’t sound very moved. “Thank you for the answer, L-Number-Two.”

Later that night, he couldn’t stand the sight of Misa in his apartment. He put on a dazzling act about how he had a bunch of paperwork to do.  _Your lovely face would be a distraction. I’d never get anything done._

She’d bought it without a hitch, and went to stay with one of her model friends within the hour.

As soon as the door clicked shut, he let his sheepish smile drop and walked to the bathroom. 

He brushed his teeth in complete silence. 

He took off his shoes.

Unfastened his tie.

He fell bonelessly onto a bed that was too big for one person.

As he stared up at the bare ceiling, he thought of his detective, and could’ve sworn that he felt the cool tinge of a handcuff on his wrist— ah, no— it was only his watch. _I miss you._

As he slept, he dreamed of avenging angels with black eyes and silvery skin.

* * *

The warehouse had been a bust.

A combination of factors had led to the loss (a solid half of these factors surrounded Mikami, but that’s what he got for trusting a lawyer), and Light could admit he’d gone batshit. Too late to go back on it now though. He was losing blood, and he was losing it fast.

He didn’t want to die surrounded by enemies. Surrounded by shame. Ryuk refused to help him, the fucking bastard, so he had to make do on his own. The obvious next course of action was to run.

The run was better classified as a hobble, but that didn’t matter. As long as he got away. Got to die in peace.

Once again, Light found himself on a great set of steps. He was losing strength in his legs, so he decided to crash there for a while. He’d just.... get back up in a second.

_ Huh. _

He could have been delirious, but he was seeing so much irony here— the last time he’d been on steps like these, L was the one saying goodbye. Now, it was him.

It was fitting. Hah. Maybe it was a thing for all gods to make their goodbyes on staircases. 

Light looked down, to where Matsuda, the dumbass, had shot him. He grimaced.  _God, why’s it so sticky?_

The air itself was getting heavier, and Light had to breathe heavier in an effort to get it in and out of his chest. He tried briefly to convince himself that he’d just gone into a warehouse with poor air quality, but that’s the thing about being a genius: you always know better.

It didn’t take long for his vision to follow. It started with a bit of fuzz around the edges of objects. But when he squinted to sharpen the image, he only made everything blur more. Soon enough, everything was nothing but a muddy haze.

As his last breaths were forced out of his lungs, Light saw movement. It was slow, subtle, but it was definitely there.

He forced his eyes open, determined to see who had come for him, and there he was.

L was crouched in front of him, in perfect clarity. Looking radiant and ethereal. His beautiful angel of death, coming for him at last.

L reached out one hand, his face stretched in what could have very well been the only true smile Light had ever seen him wear.

“Come on, Light. It’s time for us to head elsewhere.”

Light felt himself smile back. “Alright.”

And with that, two fallen gods walked out into the nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn’t really have much of a plan for how i would finish this up, so i’m sorry if it seems more unpolished than the last chapter. i did try to make light’s thought process super flawed, but i’m not sure how well i did with that. oh well—  
> thank you for reading!!


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